Life Recommendation from Willie Nelson

This interview first appeared within the April 2008 challenge of Males’s Journal.

What one factor ought to each man learn about girls?

Nicely, Ray Worth advised me that the one factor he’d realized about girls is that cash makes them sexy. I couldn’t argue with that.

What’s the worst bodily ache you’ve ever skilled?

I used to be touring in Hawaii about 20 years in the past, and I simply acquired to working — first time in I don’t know the way lengthy. Then I hit the water and swam. My left lung fully collapsed. I instinctively knew what had occurred and was far sufficient offshore to get somewhat involved. However the true ache was within the hospital. They stick one thing by your again to pump the lung up, and no matter decibel your scream is, that’s how they know they’ve penetrated the lung. I peaked that sucker.

Do you’ve got a recurring dream?

No, probably not. I had a dream one night time — the funniest dream I ever had. This man mentioned, “I wish to speak to Tex Cobb.” I had been hanging out with Tex, so I assume that’s why he mentioned it. I mentioned, “He’s not right here.” And the man mentioned, “Nicely, the place is he?” And I mentioned, “I don’t know.” And the man simply out of the clear blue mentioned, “You’re about 90 % smart-ass, ain’t you?” And I heard myself in my sleep say, “Nicely, you son of a bitch, you come over right here. I’ll hit you within the goddamn nostril.” After which he mentioned, “Make that one hundred pc.” I woke myself up laughing.

What’s the perfect treatment for a hangover?

I don’t suppose there’s any good factor for a hangover besides struggling somewhat bit.

What’s the perfect treatment for a heartbreak?

Extra hangovers.

Which commandment do you break most frequently?

Nicely, I attempt to maintain “Thou shalt not kill.” The remainder of them I’m sort of shaky on.

What would you do with a time machine?

I’d return to the horse-and-buggy days, get me horse and a saddle and a guitar, and take off and trip about 5 miles a day. I’d construct a fireplace and play or write a track. Then I’d stand up and trip 5 extra miles.

The place’s the strangest place you ever awoke?

I’d been consuming in a spot referred to as the Evening Owl, in West, Texas, after which caught a trip as much as Hillsboro to a restaurant the place a number of vans stopped. Nicely, I lay down behind a kind of vans and awoke the following morning as the motive force was pulling into the stockyards in Fort Value. I’m simply glad I didn’t crawl in with a bunch of longhorns.

What track do it’s important to hear as soon as per week?

“Chiseled in Stone,” by Vern Gosdin, from the ’80s. In case you don’t realize it, it’s not something I might let you know. Whenever you hear it you’ll say, “Okay, now I do know what Willie’s speaking about.”

What was your first automobile?

An outdated ’36 Ford wagon me and my buddy Zeke purchased from my brother-in-law for $195. One time I’d gone inside to see a lady and Zeke stayed out within the automobile. Some child noticed gasoline leaking from the tank — he would possibly’ve had a beer or two, I don’t know — however he mentioned, “What would occur if I put a match to this gasoline tank?” and Zeke mentioned, “Nicely, you loopy son of a bitch, it’d catch on fireplace.” So the child struck a match and Zeke got here working to inform me the automobile was burning up. That was the top of that ’36 Ford.

What’s the most important wager you ever made?

Woody Harrelson and Owen Wilson and I gamble on a regular basis, on dominoes and chess and poker. It doesn’t actually matter how a lot, as a result of we wind up, even earlier than the night time’s over, buying and selling hundred-dollar payments. These are some actual enjoyable guys to hang around with.

What’s essentially the most cherished possession you ever misplaced?

My son. I ain’t by no means misplaced nothing else that wasn’t replaceable.

What one expertise do you wish to have earlier than you die?

I’d be actual grasping to ask for anything. I’ve performed music and sung with nearly all people I needed to. Apart from Barbra Strei­sand. It’s not too late for that.

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